Held You First

Breaking my back paying our bills
Sweat on my shirt chasing what we built
Came home, found another man
Standing there like he owned my land
Another man in my bed that night
Another man holding my wife
Another man took over my life
Under my roof, under my sky
Said things I can’t un-say
Lost my mind that day

She said you’ll never know my name
Said somebody else is your daddy now
Swore I’d be a ghost to you

But I held you first
I held you tight
Before the war
Before mama’s lies
I held you first
Before my world got cursed
I held you first
And that’s the truth that hurts
I held you first

They pulled you crying from my arms
Paper orders, flashing lights
One slammed door and just like that
I wasn’t your daddy anymore
Locked out but I’m locked in
Doing my time for another man’s sin
Turning wrenches in that garage
While the years kept rolling on
Missed your birthdays, missed first days
Blew out candles miles away
Had a choice — let heartbreak bury me
Or live long enough for you to see me
Put the bottle down, faced myself
Built a better man from that hell
Every step and every year
Built a life you could walk into here

I held you first
I held you tight
Before the hurt
Before mama’s lies
I held you first
All I ever wanted was you
I held you first
That’s the one thing true
I held you first

I ain’t perfect, I was young
Yeah I let my anger run
But I never stopped loving you
Not one day — not one
If you ever start asking why
If you ever look past mama’s lies
You’ll find me right here

I held you first
I held you tight
Before the pain
Before the fight
I held you first
They can’t erase that line
I held you first
I’ll be loving you for all time
I held you first…
I held you first…